Welcome to 352LuxMag's film reviews, the second of this week's featured films is Shark Night.

It's in 3D but don't let that sway you into going.

Let's cut to the chase......Shark Night is a waste of time and money.

Students on holiday fight a shiver of sharks after traveling to an island getaway and have to fend off attacks from the toothy fiends.

Even for a shark flick lover like me, Shark Night is just about watchable.

In the same manner that watching paint peel from a park bench on a sunny day, whilst suffering an enormous wedgie is watchable.

You CAN do it, but won't want to.

Piranha 3D was almost cartoonish in the grue, it used 3D as a means to repulse. In that sense it was original.

Shark Night is not.

It's the kind of movie where idiots survive and bigger idiots do not.

The kind of movie where bad guys are signalled by wearing shark teeth necklaces.

POP QUIZ: How do you not get eaten by a shark?

If you don't know the answer then you deserve to suffer numerous papercuts between the skin folds of your toes.

In the film our 'heroes' seem to do everything but stay out of the water.

You pray for them to be eaten, and then the devouring takes place off screen.

The soon-to-be limbless 'victims' half-heartedly flail about in the water, all the while offering as much vim and resistance as a lass palming away the interests of a premiership footballer – as glassy eyed as the sharks themselves.

And for a film called Shark NIGHT, why does so much 'action' take place during the day.

But, hey, nubile young things wear bikinis and get wet – it'll pack out the auditoriums.

Jaws is and will be the best shark film of all time. Deal with it.

If we could, we'd afford this film NO stars, as it stands, will offer a crumb.

*Special mention to the unfortunate timing of the release and the recent shark attack in South Africa.

** Dark Tide starring Halle Berry looks promising. Open Water was ok. The Reef is pretty good. Deep Blue Sea has not aged well and the Jaws sequels practically are the law of diminshing returns.